10.3

That neighbor I was helping drywall was out on a evening walk with his family. I was on the front yard to turn our water main back on ... long story. They stopped, and we chatted. The wife asked if I was planning any more trips with work. The questions about my work got us talking about how I am trying to get more Christians to think differently about the practices of our faith, that our practices be less encumbered by traditions and more rooted in our love for God and love for our neighbor.

She who has not yet met Christ was totally intrigued. "Are there other Christians who think like this?" We left the conversation agreeing that we should talk more.

I spent a few hours of spare time working on our neighbors' garage. It was something I did in response to what Jesus has done for me. Like Jesus and Paul, I am a son and a willing bond-servant of my Father.

This small response to God's call on my life then opened the door for my neighbors to approach me about my faith.

It's started. I can't wait to see Christ make himself known to this whole family. And to share fellowship with with them in Christ.

9.25

A couple weeks back, just as I sat down to watch the NFL season opener, I got a text. My neighbor was wondering if I could give him some consult on some work he was doing in his garage. I'm no "do it yourself" expert, but I am a couple steps ahead of my neighbor. The timing was uncanny. Just as I was set to relax, someone asked me for help. So uncanny, that I immediately sensed God's humor.

Within a couple minutes, I was in his garage. I made a few recommendations. Offered an electrician contact. Before leaving, I told him that once the electrical work was done, I'd be happy to help him drywall. I'd had one prior drywall experience, but as I've indicated, it was one more than my neighbor had.

Two weeks later, I've been over to the neighbors on three separate occasions to drywall. It's been a good way to build our relationship further. And serve God as I serve him.

9.3

Fear is the disease of humanity. It is what rushed in with that first bite. It's what continues to drive up the body count. Death resides in us all and the smell of it is the fear. Christ came to take away the power of death. The wrath of God. If God has acquitted us, what court will prosecute us. That's Paul's argument.

One day, I will be free of this disease that eats away at me. The Spirit of Christ in me assures me of this hope. Until that day, Lord please give me the strength to overcome the temptation to succumb to this power. Give me the strength to live as a free man. Unafraid.

If this is true ... oh, man. Right? If this is true, it is good news indeed. How can we keep this to ourselves and in the end, look at him and tell him we believed it all along?

8.12

Talked with a friend about evangelism, specifically the question of proclamation vs. relational. He told me that he found the recent emphasis on relational evangelism frustrating. In some instances, he felt that the relational evangelism holds people back from proclaiming the gospel. It tends to make us dependent on ourselves to be winsome, charming. Almost as if we need to cozy up to someone before we can tell them about Jesus.

In a way I agree. I don't much like an emphasis on any particular approach. The reason I don't like it is that an emphasis on any form tends to be concerned with the bearer of the good news. Evangelism isn't some activity that stands alone. It is part of a broader call to love. The good news begins with God loving the world, loving us. We are set free to love others. The heights of this love is demonstrated when we love those who do not, cannot love us in return.

Evangelism is the sharing of this good news in love. Love is concerned with the other, and so in evangelism, love ought to be concerned with the recipient. The bearer of the good news ought to set aside comfort, preferences, self fulfillment. Love presses us to try to figure out what would be best for the recipient. Let's not get hung up with effective evangelism or our particular gifts. With evangelism like all else, let us be ruled by the law of love.

8.1

Took Jacob out for a surf this morning for his birthday. One of his friends came along. Over the past year or so, I've been taking some of Jacob's friends surfing. There are about four or five boys who routinely go with us. The kid who went this morning is the most dedicated. He happens to also be on Jacob's water polo team - both club and High School. In the past year of countless hours on the pool deck, we've begun to build a friendship with this kids' parents too. They are great people - humble, considerate, kind.

With the potential for a long term friendship for all of us, I'm looking forward to what God will do with the ties he is building.

Taking thirteen, fourteen year olds surfing is not my ideal for "going for a surf." Gotta go pick them up, round them up. Some of them don't know what they're doing. It's hectic. I've grown accustomed to surf being my place, a getaway.

I may have said this before, but it bears repeating. It's not the great sacrifices that keep us from getting involved with people, it's the minor impositions. Not the sword we fear, but the paper cuts. I'm learning that imposition is the pathway to relationship. Friendship. Fellowship. Community.

I've let my son impose on my surf. Because of Christ, I've let him and his friends disrupt my peace. And this morning, I had such a great time sharing waves, conversation, laughs with the boys.

7.24

I am discipling a cousin. It started with re-connecting, couple BBQs, and inviting him to our fantasy football league. This spanned four or five years - mostly sporadic until fantasy football. While watching football one evening, I asked him if he'd be interested in getting together more regularly to talk about his faith. He said, "yes."

Last couple times we got together, we talked about fellowship. He does not have a Christian friend. At the moment, he is not very interested to going to church. I'm not convinced enough that I am going to say to him, "You have to go to church, man." So, we've talked about his people. There's a handful of people who make up his "family," his "tribe."

Okay, so if these people are going to eventually be, to a degree, your "christian community" you'd better get started. (Laughter and agreement)
A good start is to begin praying for each of these people. Begin with the inner circle. If right now, you can only manage 2 or 3, great.
The other thing you want to do is you'll have to change the narrative. This will take some doing and a good deal of time. You and your friends have a story. Chapters have been written; a narrative established. God has not had a part in your story. The story has to shift. It begins with him entering the plot.
How? Not sure. He's writing it, so you should ask him. I think it will involve a couple things: An identification with Christ and obedience.

7.16

It is the height of club water polo season. I spent a good chunk of the past weekend at our son's water polo tournament. Our kids' involvement open doors for us into existing communities. His water polo team and the players' parents make up a pretty tight knit community.

Right now our goal is to be a part of this community. This means we are engaged in our children's pursuit of the sport of water polo. It is in itself important. Water polo and this team is not merely a context to be used for imparting the REAL important thing - the gospel. If we do not value what the community values within reason, then we will remain apart. This also means we are getting know the people who make up this community. In the same spirit, we are not getting to know them so that we can impart the gospel. We are getting to know them because relationship with them is in itself of great value.

It's a subtle shift, but sometimes in trying to elevate the gospel we diminish it. By failing to recognize that the gospel gives meaning to all things, we sequester it until we've set up for it its delivery. The gospel is not the point. It's the whole story. Christ is beginning, middle, and the point.

7.1

The Christian life is not a solitary journey. Right. That's an easy one. So, when we decided to step onto a path less worn, you know ... the path without two thousand Christians on it, we started with a small group of friends. Our starting point was a handful of people and a commitment to love. Minimalist: yes; but grand nonetheless.

Like I said, we feel like that first foray has run its course. Now we are not starting with a group of any kind. We are starting by serving and loving people. Christians and non-Christians alike. It has gotten us building relationships, taking an interest in people, making ourselves available to meet needs.

What we hope for is that God would build a committed group of people, people who will walk with us on this journey. Maybe some of them will be people we lead to Christ. Some those we have discipled.

I'll tell you how it goes. It might take awhile ...

6.28

About four or five years ago, we asked some friends if they'd be interested in gathering regularly. We decided that if we did this, we'd commit to one thing: Love one another. And an important aspect of that love would be help one another love God more.

We determined to get together weekly for a meal, and see what happens. Over the past five years, we prayed together, studied the Bible, shared heartache, confessed sins. In our own way, we worshipped God. Carried one another's burdens. Largely, we did what we set out to do, we loved one another.

The group including children grew to about twenty. We are sensing that it has run its course. And that God is leading us into new things. But maybe it, the essence of it does not end, like a good diaspora of a healthy family does not mark the end of that family.

6.23

There's a bit of a tension. It's what has kept me from writing in awhile.

In trying to give some exposure to what we are doing in centering our lives in Christ in the life we live in the world, I'm experiencing some tension. Whether intended or not, the tension comes from the feeling that I'm putting my friends on display. Would they understand what I am doing? Many of them would not. And so for the time being, it's likely that they would not enjoy being presented as part of an ongoing example of what this whole centering our lives in Christ ... might look like. With this type of tension, I've always leaned toward safety.

All that to say, my plan is to continue to try to present a picture of what we do, but do so with a "pulled back lens." I've already made an effort to conceal identities, but I'm feeling the need to even more guarded. If it ends up keeping me from doing what I've set out to do, then we'll just pack it in. But hopefully even a "grainy black and white" will present a picture that proves useful.

6.13

So, we've been talking about starting a little Bible reading group with some of Jacob's friends. First, I have to get Jacob on board; he's risking more than anyone. He is mostly for it. The two friends who would "make or break" this reading group are two boys from around the corner. I'd say they are his best friends. Neither have any exposure to Christianity. We have developed a friendship with both families.

The Dad of one of the boys is a Persian guy, Muslim. He is married to a Jewess from Belarus. Great, fun couple. When we had them over for dinner, they admitted that neither were practicing their religion. If we're going to invite this kid to read the Bible, we need to run it by his parents.

I'm thinking of and praying about getting coffee with this Dad. He's a really humble, funny guy, so hanging out with him is easy. The hard thing will be bringing up the Bible reading thing. I plan to talk to him about how our sons are growing up in a world largely devoid of the fear of God. Then I'm going to tell him about this Bible reading idea. Invite him to join us too. And then we'll see where it goes.

6.11

I read the Bible with three guys from the neighborhood on Sunday mornings. The guy who told me about it is the father of Abby's best friend. Other then being a San Francisco Giants fan, he's a great guy - a Christian guy. One day last summer, he came over to help me lay some bricks. After he said, that he was reading the Bible with a couple other guys from the neighborhood. When I heard it, I was immediately interested. I'd been thinking for over a year about these Christian friends from the neighborhood. Did God want me to do something with them?

When I went to our first Bible reading time, I met the other two guys. One is the father of one of Jacob's friends. He is a young believer. The other is the father of one of Allison's classmates. Because they are already in my life, it's a great way for me to keep my relationship with Christ as part of my life here in the neighborhood. I wonder if God has something for us to do in our neighborhood.

For now, the thing to do is help these guys get in the word. This past week, we spent reading Ephesians chapter 3 and talking about our need to believe that God loves us - an impossibility apart from Christ.

6.5

About that double date a couple Fridays ago. It all started with our neighbors asking us to take care a few things for them while they were on a ten day family vacation. A few days after they returned, T____ texted me about taking us out to dinner to thank us. With a little bit of back and forth, we figured out a night that worked.

Jumping in their car, we told them that it was maybe our very first double date. Ever. T____ said, "Uh oh ... the pressure."
"Yeah, you guys better be fun."
They took us to a nice yakitori place. There's always a long wait at this place, so we got a good chance to talk. We talked mostly about family. And then a bit about our history - where we grew up and how we met. That hour of wait was a real blessing.

Over some good yakitori and drinks, our conversation flowed easily from one topic to another. Before we knew it, it was almost 10:30. It was a great night.

Couple things: 
People around you being able to ask you for help is a good evaluation of how engaged you are in your world.
Tough to get to know people well without lingering with people.

5.30

Schedule permitting, we read the bible as a family. We don't have a set day, but mostly we do it on Sundays. So far we've read through John, Ephesians, Jonah, Esther, Titus, and Ecclesiastes. Right now we're on Micah. Over the years, we've had to press forward amidst some protest. Our kids do not wake up in the morning wanting to get into the scriptures. But by keeping it short and sweet - about twenty minutes, and making it interactive, we feel like we've won them over.

This past Sunday, Abby had some questions about Islam. We talked some about the similarities and then about the one major difference. It was a good time of reflection and thanksgiving around the good news of a Savior. We went over a couple passages including 1 Peter 3:18. Toward the end, Jacob reminded us that we had a similar conversation a year ago. I'm sure we'll continue to re-visit this cornerstone of our faith: Jesus, the Lamb of God - the propitiation for our sins.

We believe that we as parents bear the primary responsibility for laying the foundation for discipleship. Getting them in the bible is one of the basic pieces of this foundation. Hopefully, in the future, others will build upon what we are laying. And in building them up, we hope to partner with our kids in the work of the gospel.

5.28

Last Friday night we went on a double date with our neighbors, four doors down. They are a young couple with two little girls. Over the past couple years, we've slowly built a growing friendship. We like them a lot. Before I tell you about our double date, let me tell you what we do to begin these relationships.

I'm neither an extrovert nor a gregarious, people person. Those of you who know me, know this. What God has done is he has drastically changed the way I view people and relationship. This thing he's done has made me better at making friends.

First thing he did was convince me that his interest in people is enough for me to be interested in people. His interest is not casual, not "ho hum". No. His heart burns white hot for people. They consume him. And so when I talk to him, I can't ignore what he sees. It's difficult for me to tell him I love him without taking an interest in the thing he loves most.

The second thing he did was convince me that relationships, for me, a renewed, redeemed child of his does not have to be for me. It is not a resource I need. And so I do not have to look for people I like, or can help me, or add to my existence. No. I am now to look at relationship as a place to pour the endless fountain that flows out of me.

This change got us introducing ourselves. Talking sports, food. Offering help. Having them over, going over ... all the way to going on a double date. Really, this is evangelism? Good times.

5.23

God sends his Son. Jesus then turns to us and says "Just as the Father has sent me, I now send you." We can only assume he is sending us into the world, in the manner in which he came - as a loving, servant.

A few years ago, we decided to keep our kids out of Sunday school. One of the reasons was to keep them from differentiating between christian and non-christian friends, church and school friends. In the last couple years, this decision has been tested. I feel my hand nervously hovering over the "eject" button.

Our oldest Jacob has been blessed with a bunch of friends. Most do not know Christ. Initially, watching him roll with this horde of twelve, thirteen year old boys was down right scary. The sight made us want to immediately pull him away, to push back the world around him. In fear, Tara turned to prayer and heard this, For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son ... 

Still scary, but we believe God has decided to have Jacob lead our family into evangelism.

5.21

Spent a good deal of this past weekend at Jacob's water polo tournament. One of his good friends from the neighborhood is on the team. His dad is not around and his mom wasn't available for most of the weekend, so he rode with us. Since he is Jacob's friend, we're assuming that there's a good chance God is interested in him. Together, we as a family hope to see him, his mom and then the rest of his family trust Christ.

It was great seeing him score his first goal, and to cheer for him as if he were part of our family. On our drive home, we got to talk about his goal, to tell him how well he played. On the second day of the tournament, Tara when packing Jacob a lunch made sure to pack his friend one too. We're starting to really love this dude, and so we long for him to know what God thinks of him.

I think this longing, this hope makes the little things God does in our relationship so encouraging. We are praying and planning to ask if he and others of Jacob's friends would read the bible with us this summer.

5.17

Couple days ago, Tara was over at our neighbor's house helping with refinishing an antique French table. When we had them over to our place a couple months ago, E___ noticed some of Tara's restoration handy work on some of her thrift store finds. They got to talking, and now Tara's over there helping.

From my unique vantage point, I get to appreciate all Tara is doing. For one, she is putting off a project in our own home to lend E a hand. Second, she does this in faith - for Christ without knowing where it will lead.

Tara will tell you it's not big deal. And right, she not giving E a kidney or something. But I do think it's a big deal. I don't think it is the "huge sacrifice" that keeps us from being involved with people. No, for most of us, it's the inconveniences, the impositions. It's the "little deaths" we can't abide.

5.13

Past Saturday morning, I read the Bible with a couple guys. I met the first guy, Kerwin Owens, a couple years ago, on the sideline of our kids' football practice. I had made it a pattern to introduce myself to people God plopped into my life. Two hours a day, four days a week, a dozen or so parents gathered on the sideline - "plopped" in a big way. One of the dads I'd met, a guy named Frank introduced me to Kerwin. I can't remember exactly how it went, but it went something like this:

"Hey, my name is Kyu."
"Kyu as in 'Q'?"
"Yup, just like that."
"Nice. I like that, 'Q'. I'm Kerwin."
"Nice to meet you Kerwin. Who's your son?"
"Number 22 over there, Devon."
.... and so on. We later talked golf, and said we need to play sometime.

During one of those practices, I was talking with another dad and Kerwin overheard us saying something about church. Found out that day that his grandfather was a Baptist minister. Also learned that he hadn't read much of the bible. That week the thought that I could help him with reading wouldn't leave me alone.

A week later, on the bleachers at one of the games I said, "Hey Kerwin, I was thinking, you know how you said you hadn't read much of the bible. How about us reading together? We can meet once a week for thirty minutes or so and read a chapter together, talk about it." Had no idea what he would say.
"Yeah, that sounds real good. Let's do that."

We've been meeting together for over two years now. Slowly, we've gotten our families together - had dinners, studied the bible, served one another. They're our friends - gifts from God plopped into our lives.

5.8

State it plainly. A few years ago, a number of us gathered in San Diego to talk about what it means to live as Christ followers in the world. I have a friend who at the time was a few steps ahead of us. I invited him to talk to us about the things he was doing. He did a great job with what was asked of him, but by the time he was done, I wished I hadn't asked him. In principle, what he was passing on was great, but how he himself was living it was in a word, Spectacular. He and a few friends moved into the inner city, started to read the Bible with some regulars at a local bar, ended up serving a drug addict with HIV. I feared the volume on the unintended message - this is spectacular - was higher than the intended message: We can all center our lives of faith in the world.

Last Friday we did go turn in paperwork to be licensed by the County to be foster parents. In writing about it, I feared I had done the same thing my friend did years back. I am paranoid - yup paranoia is an accurate description - of depicting this whole thing as being for the exceptional, the spectacular. I am convinced it is not. 

"When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and took note that these men had been with Jesus." Acts 4:13  

5.7

Foster parenting. I know, sounds spectacular. Not saying we're spectacular ... far from it. It started with little steps like reading Proverbs 28:27 - "Those who give to the poor lack nothing, but those who close their eyes to them receive many curses."

I didn't like what seeing the poor did to me. The uncomfortable struggle: the guilt, the not knowing how to help, the inconvenience. It got easier to close my eyes. One morning Tara shared the above verse with me. Because of what I was doing, it struck me. I decided then that I would not avert my eyes from the poor.

Living as followers of Christ in the world does not mean we have to be spectacular, extraordinary. We do not all need to sell everything and move to the inner city. We do not all need to be foster parents. Take small steps of obedience. We can all do that ... and then wherever he leads.

5.3

Just got back from turning in all our paper work to be licensed as foster parents. It's been a long process, but we can see the finish line. On our drive over to Orange County Social Services office, we prayed that God would take care of the details. He did. The meeting went smooth, we got finger printed, and was out the door in thirty minutes.

When the licensing agent asked us, "What got you interested in foster parenting?" Tara responded, "God got us into this." Straight forward, innocent honesty is what I've always loved about Tara. It's true, God did get us into this.

God wants us to love. In recent years, we've felt his gentle nudge to think love this way: Do something to make somebody's life better. Along with the nudge came some words about the poor, about justice. This is our small step in response. We're scared and what lies ahead seems daunting.

As we pulled up to the building this morning, our last thought before getting out of the car was about a God who is so great that he does not need to mingle with the great and powerful. Unlike any other powerful person we know, his eyes turn to the child. The fatherless, motherless. How great is this God.

5.2

This year, I'm working hard at trying to get myself to pray for people. Many days I start out thinking, "If I get nothing else done today, I'm going to pray for people." The focus is in response to what I believe God is doing. Number of things have led me to to believe God is pretty determined to get me trusting him for all things. The main obstacle is my trust in self. Prayer is a turning away from trusting myself.

I'm trying to major on people. I start with wife, kids. Family, friends, some neighbors. Guys I'm discipling and people at work.

Trying to pray for them all in one sitting wasn't working. I'm trying now to get myself to pray twice a day, and in little bursts throughout the day.

It's going slow. I fail more than succeed at it. But I think he's happy with what I'm doing.

A verse encouraging me to pray:
Isaiah 62:6,7: "... You who call on the Lord, give yourselves no rest, and give him no rest till he establishes Jerusalem and makes her the praise of the earth."

5.1

Was working through a conflict with our oldest, Jacob. Whilst doing so, it came time for him to head off to school. His friend from around the corner came to our door to skate with him to school. Since I'd held them up, I offered to drive them to school. In the car, with his buddy sitting in the back, we continued to work through the conflict. I told Jacob that though conflict does not feel good, we have to move toward each other, not away. I continued that if he recognizes that he did something wrong, if he just apologizes, I want to forgive him. And then we'd be good.

This friend listened in on our conversation. What is oft an uncomfortable conversation was dealt with calmly and in the open. Without prompting, Jacob turned to me and said, "Dad, I'm sorry." I smiled and told him that I forgave him. As I grabbed his shoulder and affectionately shook him, I told him thanks for apologizing.

In an meaningful way, I think that conversation was a piece of the gospel for Jacob's friend.

I knew he was back there. And decided to risk a bit of awkwardness to let the light shine during our little drive.